TIPS & TOOLS
Mental illness is not a death sentence
Here are a few tips that helped me
Top two things NOT to say to a Bipolar:
-
“Just get some sleep.” Why not say that? Because we are terrified that we cannot sleep, because we CANNOT sleep. Our trouble and mania is triggered by insomnia, and so lying in bed staring at the ceiling is only going to make it worse. Not sleeping is due to a chemical imbalance and medication of some type is the answer. It’s not a “want to” problem. Our brain is wired differently and if it had its choice, it would never sleep.
So instead, think of calming practices you can do with us, to lower our frequency. From my perspective, I didn’t want to feel alone.
NUMBER #2
“Don’t worry, it will all be okay,”
Why not say that? Because it is definitely not ok for us, and we feel like we are drowning, or watching anything decent and safe in our lives go right down the drain. Where we sit right now with mania, paranoia, and depression is miles and miles from it all being ok. It seems insurmountable to get back to stability. You mean well when you say that, but our anxiety is a churning furnace hot as hot can be, and relieving it seems impossible. Again, it’s chemical, so medication or professional therapy are necessary. A simple “don’t worry” makes us think you don’t understand how complicated our problem is, and it will push us away.
Instead, ask us “what are the monsters under your bed(the name for anxiety)?” And make a list with us of the things that scare us or make us anxious. I know it takes patience and swallowing hurt to do this for us, but it is a concrete step you can take that will include, and not alienate, us.
As hard as it is to live with Bipolar myself, I truly believe it is harder and more scary for loved ones. With this digest, I will help make it harder and less scary for all.
I’ll also share other insights about, for example: young widowhood, hospice, being a single mom, digging out of debt, and succeeding as a lawyer after being fired multiple times and failing the bar exam.
GRAB YOUR FREE RESOURCE!
Join our email list and get access to this special resource exclusive to our subscribers.